Top 10 Places to Smoke in Portage la Prairie

10.  The back of downtown Tim’s.  Where the who’s who of Portage smoking elite hang and then walk down to Midtown to have a beer and a smoke.

9.  The Cat and Fiddle – After a beer and a smoke it’s back off to Tim’s for a coffee and smoke.  It’s been rumoured there is standing drinking/smoking game that is triggered by sight of emergency vehicles with sirens and flashers on.

8.  South of PCI on 4th Street S.W. by the lake – The white fence offers a bench for weary smoker’s bums where they can puff while taking in the scenery of Crescent Lake.  A happening smoke scene even when it’s not 4:20.

7.  Next to Fasnak which carries a full line of tobacco products.

6.  Outside the front door of the hospital – Nothing heals the body quicker than a combination of first-hand smoke and concentrated oxygen.  The oxygenated nicotine effect is to die for, and why not lean on your IV pole while having a fresh-air break.

5.  Outside the walk-in clinic – What else are you suppose to do while waiting your turn to get a prescription for something to clear up that nagging cough.

4.  Outside army and navy – Play darts and smoke a dart.

3.  Outside PCU centre – During hockey games common phrases include; “we really smoked the other team tonight” and ”Ya they kicked butt”.

2.  Front of Provincial Building – The big brown building downtown.  Whether you’re waiting for a court appearance or just on a coffee break the brown block offers an active smoking culture.

1.  Anywhere you can borrow a smoke – In Portage we don’t always play by the rules of grammar.  In our fair city Portage la Prairians can say “Hey buddy, can you borrow me a smoke ’til payday?” if they want to.  They can also say “Hey Larry, remember I borrowed you that smoke the udder day, time to pay up.” which is a question and a demand.  We can also be heard saying “I ain’t got no smokes to borrow you” which, grammar aside mean they don’t have any cigarettes or they just don’t feel like borrowing any out.  Yes, in Portage we borrow so much we are seldom a loan, i mean alone.

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