Secret Report Reveals Local Recreation Complex Sinks Into Swamp Staff December 11, 2016 All Stories, Anyways..., As if..., Events, Not Even 2 Comments By Drew Peacock Portage la Prairie, MB – Top secret documents leaked to a local media outlet exposes the truth about the PCU Centre sinking and how the government worked to cover it up. Evidence has emerged indicating the palatial recreation complex has completely sunk no less than 4 times in the past 5 years. To hide this truth all levels of government conspired to replace the sunken centre with an exact replica, not once but 4 times. At the cost of well over $100 million the new centres were built in modules at Southport then shipped to an undisclosed location in the sandhills south of the Gainsborough Hall for assembly and then shipped in the cover of night to replace the previous PCU Centre once it sunk out of sight. With the fifth version of the centre sitting atop the previous four officials are confident the complex will not suffer any further sinking. “We’ve pretty much hit bedrock now. I can’t imagine us having to build another one but if we have to we will,” an anonymous source said. For years people opposed to the building of the PCU Centre on the Island next to beautiful Island Park have spread rumours about the centre sinking. Today those voices feel vindicated. “They’re throwing good money after bad. You should never build anything nice in this town. I can’t believe they did this, it’s such a waste,” Bertha Funk said. No one from the government would speak on the record but sources requesting anonymity told HnH “They were determined to make the PCU Centre work and wouldn’t rule out building another if it sunk for the fifth time.” These developments will not affect sticks and pucks, public skating or upcoming Terrier games. Photo of the actual Secret Report. Notice to readers: Please be advised that while Portage la Prairie is a real place, the content of this and other stories on this website are based on fiction and the imagination of childish humans. Some events, people and places may resemble reality but the fact remains the information is unreliable, lacking in credibility and truth. Some of this may seem real to some readers but more reasonable people will pick up on the humour and satire. Consumption of this and other stories may cause dizziness, dry mouth, facial blemishes, hives, and thin hair. Should you experience an erection lasting more than four hours please seek medical treatment. This corporation assumes no responsibility for your grasp on reality, ability to tolerate sarcasm, humour and mocking comments. In addition they assume no responsibility for any resulting effects from digesting the content in this and other posts relating to but not limited to the aforementioned website and ancillary media products and modes of transportation. Please read and discuss at your own risk and with great caution. Should you feel nauseous at any point while reading this content please glance away from the screen or leave the website, social media or print page and the feeling should pass. This offer is not valid with any other offer and carries no cash or other value not to mention merit. Drive safe and drink responsibly, always consume in moderation. We like cats and dogs. Never open your doors to strangers with weapons or offer rides to same. Please no parking without a permit. And yes, objects are larger than they appear in mirrors – unless the mirrors cause magnification in which case the object would be smaller in reality. Please consult a physician before working out. Call your mom. Stop picking at it. If it bleeds it leads. 2 Responses Gregoire Roberto December 12, 2016 I heard rumors of this issue. Now I know it’s true because I saw it on The Hoop And Holler news link. I still think some day I will drive by there, and it will be tilted. Reply Staff December 12, 2016 Perhaps you think its true because you’ve watched too much Monty Python in your youth. Reply Leave a Reply Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email.