Chester the City Hall Mouse Survives Extermination

Poulins1It’s the scariest day of the year, especially when it happens on October 31st. I don’t mean Halloween, neither. I’m talkin’ about the exterminator makin’ a visit to City Hall. Somehow it slipped my mind that it was ‘bout that time. Guess I was busy with more important things like tuckin’ away the vittles gathered after last week’s celebrations.

But all of a sudden, there he was. Big as Arnold Schwartensdrooper, strong as Mighty Mouse, and ugly as my brother Ivan’s ex-mother-in-law’s Aunty Mame. I had to do me some fancy footwork, I’ll tell ya. But once, again, I survived. Whew!

It did get me to thinking about my own mortality, though. And that ain’t necessarily a bad thing. We all know the only things certain in this life are death and taxes, especially here at City Hall. It does a mouse good to consider the end of his days now and then.

So I decided I should write my last will and testimony, just in case. Not that I have a lot to leave behind, mind you. But what I have is precious and I don’t want it goin’ to jest anybody. So, here’s what I come up with.

I, Chester the City Hall Mouse, being of sound mind and furry body, do hereby bequeath the following possessions to the following folks:

To Mayor Irvine Ferris, my tube of Miracle Mouse Body Lotion. It’s proven to thicken the skin, and I figger he’s gonna need all of that he can get. Feel free to share it with all of Council.

To my fellow field mice back home, I leave my secret stash of vittles. Have a party on ol’ Chester!

And last but not least, I leave my rat-tail comb to Mr. Shane Neufeld. The mullet is sure to make a comeback sooner or later.

Exterminators ought to be executed, if ya ask me. Not that anybody’s askin’.

All for this time,

Chester

About The Author

Chester the City Hall Mouse

Portage la Prairians have accused City Hall of harbouring rodents in the past, but this correspondent promises to sniff and scratch out unique stories from the halls of power.

2 Responses

  1. Shane Neufeld

    Hey! I resemble that remark. Just like The Hoop and Holler, all business in the front, all party in the back!

    Reply

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