With fresh paint sill shining on the plywood, Portage’s Convention Corner is set to explode with economic possibilities claim unconfirmed, unreliable, fictional sources.

The North American Association of Outdoor Convention Facilities has named our new meeting hub as the top venue on the continent and to celebrate Portage will host Canadian rock superstar Kim Mitchell.

“Portage has captured everything we look for when rating outdoor convention centres,” Wayne Kerr, President of the NAAOCF, said.  “Kellogg Idaho has an upgraded facility this year with electricity and a hose for cold water, that came close to challenging Portage but, in the end, Portage came out on top. Portage’s commitment to add port-a-potties for special events put their application over the top.”

The regional economic development office assembled a group of volunteers to leverage a collection of donated materials and a small government grant to create the convention and meeting space.

“We are proud and excited to announce that Portage la Prairie will be the kick off point of Kim’s new world tour in support of his new album ‘LED Patio Lights”, promoter Sasha Pandiaz said at the press conference.  “We heard about Portage’s number one rating and saw it as the perfect fit for the launch of the new album.  Kim is pumped for Portage.”

“It’s just great that the community could build this wonderful space,” Portage la Prairian, Harry Enns said.

“We have an abundance of empty lots owned by extremely wealthy developers.  I’m glad we could persuade one of them to let us build this with donated materials and volunteer labour.  Not every town gets a chance like that.”

kim smoking

Rock Legend Kim Mitchell checking out Convention Corner

With its new top ranking Convention Corner is already accepting bookings for concerts and conventions well into next year.  The Rolling Stones, Scorpions and Merle Haggard are all in the final stages or booking dates in Portage.  The International Brotherhood of Security Guards, Amway and the National Association of Reformed Baptist and the Canadian Deaf and Mute Mennonites are looking to take a weekend each at the corner.

Economic spin-offs will be in the $200-300 million range.  “We’ve seen small town corners turn huge profits, “ Wayne Kerr said.  “Outdoor conventions are not just the way of the future they are also the present and most recently, the past.”

“Kim Mitchell see’s Portage as the quintessential career spark,” Sasha Pandiaz shared.  “April Wine came back at the Strawberry Festival and went on to have another great decade of playing casinos and large bars.  We’re hoping Portage can do the same for Kim.”

Tour stops for the Kim Mitchell “Keepin it Bright Cause I Can’t Read In The Dark” Tour sponsored by Manitoba Hydro will include, Beausejour, Peguis, Dauphin, Swift Current, Canmore, Iron Flats, Pilot Butte and Kenora.  Tickets for the Portage show can be picked up at Select-A-Seat 666 Saskatchewan Ave. and go on sale Friday.

 

About The Author

Neil Downs

Is a reporter, music-lover, whistle-blower and handy-man? He is a life-long Portage la Prairian and comes to the Hoop and Holler after working at a local potato processor. Neil has been writing at night, in the dark, for over 30 years and has yet to have one word published.

We fell in love with Neil’s unique insights on local news and issues. Years of working in a factory setting has allowed him to refine his perspective and explore his conspiracy theories fully. He’ll be a welcome addition to our expanding editorial team. Neil has no friends or family left in the Portage area and feels increasingly isolated so let’s make sure to pass on a warm HnH welcome to him.

Now that Neil is writing for a living he will be wasting his free time writing Hollywood screenplays and fantasizing about becoming a successful playwright and winning the lottery. This combined with his natural paranoid state will fuel his general dissatisfaction and frustration with life causing him to withdraw from normal society completely. This will serve the HnH well as he will devote the rest of his days to covering the stories that matter the most to Portage la Prairie.

2 Responses

  1. Thine Ownself

    Gives this venue more attention than it deserves IMHO. Although to be fair all the mud and gravel
    does kind of lend a woodstocky air

    Reply
  2. Jacki

    I am not a fan of the location of this convention corner. I think it is a terrible eye sore. What a shame after all of the year’s of hard work done by the people of the Portage Beautification Initiative and the hundreds of thousands of dollars spent on beautifying the entrances to our city. I find the multi-coloured pieces of plywood on our main street to be offensive. There are other places that it could have been built. I am ashamed that this was allowed to be built on the Trans Canada Highway through Portage. The hard work and money that the businesses and volunteers have invested in the various downtown beautification initiatives over the years such as putting in flower planters along the avenue, re-facing many of the business store fronts and developing Vopni Park and then this convention corner pops up. I feel sorry for those that have to look at it each day.

    Reply

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