Man Strips While Blowing Snow Staff December 12, 2016 All Stories, Anyways..., As if..., Farm Life, Not Even, People, Sports, Stories Portage la Prairie, MB – A local man took extreme measures to win a snow blowing competition by stripping down to his boots and shorts. For years, Alvin Cunningham and Gilbert Fast have been trying to out do the other with their snowblowers. “I was the first on the street with a snowblower so I would do the sidewalk and the driveways of the old folks and shut-ins,” explained Cunningham. “But then this tool moves in a few houses over and thinks he’s better than me. He starts clearing half the street and most of the driveways just to out-do me.” The snow feud has raged on for a decade to the benefit of most of the neighbours who now rarely have to clear snow. “Between the two of us we blow everyone,” said Fast. “Well, almost, there are a couple of knobs further down the street who like to push the snow into the street. We just blow it back on their yards for being dick heads.” Recently the battle amped up with Cunningham retiring from the MDC and having more time than Fast to blow snow. “I guess I just got sick of him beating me out there during the week,” said Fast. “I had to do something so I challenged him to a blow off.” A “blow off” is akin to a dance-off where two competitors with snow blowers try to out do the other with tricks and stunts. After a series of fancy twists and turns and fluttering columns of snow shooting skyward most of the neighbours were watching so Fast took it to another level. “After doing a figure eight I looked over and that idiot was taking his clothes off,” said Cunningham. Fast proceeded to take almost everything off to silence his foil once and for all. “Not too many people can blow snow bareback so that will shut old Cunningham up for a while,” said Fast. The two men are not on speaking terms after Cunningham caught his wife posting photos of her sexy snow blowing neighbour, complete with racy comments, to social media. Notice to readers: Please be advised that while Portage la Prairie is a real place, the content of this and other stories on this website are based on fiction and the imagination of childish humans. Some events, people and places may resemble reality but the fact remains the information is unreliable, lacking in credibility and truth. Some of this may seem real to some readers but more reasonable people will pick up on the humour and satire. Consumption of this and other stories may cause dizziness, dry mouth, facial blemishes, hives, and thin hair. Should you experience an erection lasting more than four hours please seek medical treatment. This corporation assumes no responsibility for your grasp on reality, ability to tolerate sarcasm, humour and mocking comments. In addition they assume no responsibility for any resulting effects from digesting the content in this and other posts relating to but not limited to the aforementioned website and ancillary media products and modes of transportation. Please read and discuss at your own risk and with great caution. Should you feel nauseous at any point while reading this content please glance away from the screen or leave the website, social media or print page and the feeling should pass. This offer is not valid with any other offer and carries no cash or other value not to mention merit. Drive safe and drink responsibly, always consume in moderation. We like cats and dogs. Never open your doors to strangers with weapons or offer rides to same. Please no parking without a permit. And yes, objects are larger than they appear in mirrors – unless the mirrors cause magnification in which case the object would be smaller in reality. Please consult a physician before working out. Call your mom. Stop picking at it. If it bleeds it leads. Leave a Reply Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email.