Local TV Station Converts to Religion To Save Itself TheHoopandHoller March 13, 2016 All Stories, Anyways..., As if..., Not Even by Wilma Handu Portage la Prairie, MB – Local TV station, CPLP, is trying to save itself by converting to religious broadcasting. Plagued by shrinking revenues in recent years, the local broadcaster is putting it’s faith in religion. “With the media industry going online, religion is the perfect product,” said Station Manager Dixie Normous. “Religious people, especially Christian viewers, don’t care about low production values. That really helps keep the costs reasonable.” The new faith-based economics have an additional upside. “If ad sales drop we just have to pass the virtual hat a little more often to make more money,” added Normous. “If you have programming that tells people what they want to hear, they’ll cough over hands full of cash.” The redeemed format will include today’s top evangelical TV stars as well as a growing stable of local shows. “Our local shows will be a great money grab, “ said Program Manager Dwayne Pipe. “We will have an onsite church and produce a lot of slow-paced talk shows. Christian authors will love to come on and sell their latest books.” With a non-profit status, the new station is banking on a big improvement in profitability with opportunity for multi-platform media products. CPLP plans to leverage everything it can into revenue generating items, including the stations dark past and sinful reputation. A stigma is of no concern to Normous. “We will fully embrace our past sins. The adultery, wonton sex, drunkenness and unethical business practices will all be turned into viable and highly profitable ministries.” “We will market previous inequities with programming, books and live events,” shared Pipe. The move to market this way is a growing trend in Christian media to fully exploit transgressions rather than cover them up. “Evangelicals used to think they would have to resign or shrink back if they got caught in sin, “ explained Pipe. “Nowadays it’s better to say ‘sorry’ and then use the sin to build your business…I mean ministry.” Wilma Handu is a first generation Canadian who’s family hails from India. Armed with a degree in religious studies and a heart for religious unity, Wilma will handle The Hoop and Holler’s faith, culture and lifestyles beats. Wilma Handu and her husband came to Portage la Prairie from Calgary. They readily admit that if it had not been for the downturn in the oil industry they would have never left Alberta but are warming up to Portage despite its lack of Mexican cuisine. Notice to readers: Please be advised the content of this and other stories on this website are based on fiction and the imagination of humans. Some facts(have not been stuck to) and places may resemble reality but the fact remains the information is unreliable, lacking in credibility and truth. Some events and characters may seem real to some readers but more reasonable people will pick up on the humour and satire. This corporation assumes no responsibility for your grasp on reality, ability to tolerate sarcasm, humour and mocking comments. In addition they assume no responsibility for any resulting effects from digesting the content in this and other posts relating to but not limited to the aforementioned website and ancillary media products and modes of transportation. Please read and discuss at your own risk and with great caution. Should you feel nauseous at any point while reading this content please glance away from the screen or leave the website, social media or print page and the feeling should pass. This offer is not valid with any other offer and carries no cash or other value not to mention merit. Drive safe and drink responsibly, always consume in moderation. Never open your doors to strangers with weapons or offer rides to same. Please no parking without a permit. Leave a Reply Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email.