A Chance NOT To Play

by Carl Bunso

There are no shortage of organizations whose goal is to help underprivileged families afford organized sport. These are important – as a young lad I actually had someone cover my minor hockey funds for a year and I not only had a chance to play but managed to seize the opportunity and turn it into an extended career in the Poplar Point rec league. The team from the Hutterite colony eventually beat us in game three of the ’94 final but my point is without the financial support I received early on I wouldn’t have been able to later play at such a high level and have the experiences I did. So don’t read me wrong – there remains a serious need to provide opportunities for gifted athletes to achieve their dreams. I am thankful for each organization which opens doors for those who can only knock.

However, this focus on helping the underprivileged play means someone needs to stand up and fight for the privileged. Someone needs to help over privileged kids escape from the clutches of organized sport. That someone is me, Carl Bunso, and my “Chance to Not Play” Foundation.

For those unfamiliar, here is how the foundation works.

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1. Kids apply for help online.

Picture this. You are 11 years old, it’s 6:15am December 8th and you are sitting in the back seat of a mini-van flying towards Treherne for a 7:45 am ice time. You are tired, frustrated, and dad is angry because the skate sharpening guy screwed up. You are envying your underprivileged friends who are still in bed, who stayed up late last night, and who will not have to eat a deep-fried pizza pop for lunch and taco salad in a bag for supper. You want out. Thankfully, you are already playing on the iphone and so you can discreetly fill out our online form. Immediately, we send out our “Chance to Not Play” package.

2. The Chance to Not Play Package

Each of Bunso’s Kid’s receive a package which includes:

  1. Tree branch for training the imagination. Is it a gun? A sword? A bow? A spear? A snack? All of the above junior! No rules and the only limit is your imagination.
  2. A list of Facebook status updates which help parents explain to their peers why their child is not playing organized sports. We help you get prepared for the inevitable criticism which comes when you hop off the crazy train.
  3. A coupon for a discount at a therapist so dad can learn to not have to live vicariously through the kids.
  4. Information on RESP’s so registration, tournament, and travel money can actually be used to secure post secondary education. A far more reliable plan then the “We know he probably won’t ever be a professional, we’d be happy if he just gets an athletic scholarship” plan.

Thanks to the donations of compassionate people just like you we’ve seen dozens of kids rescued from a life of over privilege. Your $24.99 a month allows us to continue to snatch children from the icy jaws of a zamboni and sit them down in the lap of childhood wonder.

Donations can be sent to the head office of the Hoop n’ Holler at 21 Jump Street, Beverly Hills, 90210. c/o “Carl Bunso – Chance to Not Play Foundation”.

Thank you for reading this. I hope they let me write again.

*donors will not be issued tax receipts / Carl Bunso reserves the right to keep the money all for himself.

About The Author

4 Responses

  1. Jay

    Actually not very funny at all!!! Hopefully you did not give up your day job for writing this kind of crap.

    Reply
    • Shane Neufeld

      We will advise Mr. Bunso to retain his day job and we will factor your comments into whether or not we let him write again. His talents are much sought after so we would be concerned about negative comments pushing him to one of our competitors. The non paying web publishing world is a cut throat industry so your patience and understanding is appreciated. Thanks for your continued non financial support.

      Reply
      • Duffy

        Very funny take on minor hockey. Mr. Bunso reminds me of a younger Shane Neufeld. Wait a minute……

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