Portage la Prairie – A local frisky feline was overwhelmed when it accidentally and momentarily ventured outside.  The cat’s caretaker, Jack Hoffer, noticed the normally housebound cat squirming uncontrollably on the step.

“She must have gotten out when I grabbed the mail, “ said and emotional Hoffer.  “I never let her out.  She has no idea what to do in the world.”

After rubbing its scent on the concrete, Muffy trotted over to a low bush and sniffed it long and hard.   Jack Hoffer quickly snatched up the cat before it came across the neighbour cat’s feces in the flower bed.

“I didn’t want Muffy sticking her nose in that scruffy cat’s poop.  Muffy is a very clean and good cat.  It shouldn’t have to experience the neighbour’s crap,” Hoffer explained.

Tensions have been on the rise between Hoffer and his neighbour over how to properly raise a pet feline.

“Cats should stay inside and go to the bathroom in a litter box.  These are domesticated animals not wild things!” Hoffer added.

Neighbour, Justin Dufront has a different opinion.  “Cat’s should be allowed to roam around and do what comes naturally.  Only small-minded idiots would keep their cats inside all the time,” said Dufront.

The neighbouring cat lovers rift goes deeper than whether or not to let their pets outdoors.  “He even shaved his cat this spring and let it run around the whole neighbourhood, “ said Hoffer.  “The thing looked like a freak, completely unnatural.”

“Every spring we get Pumpkin trimmed up to look like a mini-lion,” explained Dufront.  “It’s cute like that.  I get lots of compliments on my trimmed kitty.”

To date the police have not had to intervene but the two seem unlikely to find common ground.  “If he thinks I’m going to shave my cat and let it outside he’s got another thing coming,” said Hoffer.

At press time Muffy was reported sitting in the window batting her tail back and forth while Pumpkin dropped a fresh turd in Hoffer’s flower bed without covering it as an act of defiance.

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About The Author

Drew Peacock

Drew is a military kid who came to Portage in the late 80’s when his father came to CFB Southport. Since then Drew Peacock has graduated from Arthur Meighen High School and was his class valedictorian. After high school he almost graduated with honours from the University of Manitoba. He was just one credit short but never got around to finishing due to an active social life and interest in politics. Drew Peacock has worked for all major political parties as a vote enhancer, call centre dispatcher and fundraiser. Most recently Drew has been the local Chamber of Commerce President and editor of his own internet blog, “The Real Meaning of Politics," which can be found on the world-wide-web if you have a computer. Drew has been married to his wife Rose for 20 years and considers himself apolitical and asexual. Drew Peacock will be The Hoop and Holler’s new political editor and Vice President of distribution.

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