Church Service Runs Late: Band Can’t Find Ending of Song TheHoopandHoller April 16, 2016 All Stories, Anyways..., As if..., Not Even By Wilma Handu Portage la Prairie, MB – Worshippers at The Portage Church experienced hunger pains and time-related anxiety when their Sunday service didn’t end until 12:30pm. The local congregation eliminated hymnals over a decade ago but never thought something this terrible could occur. With about five minutes left in the hour-long service, the worship band took the stage for the final number normally more than enough time for the song and the pastor’s final prayer. There was a mix up between the person running the power point and the band leader and the final verse of the song was lost. “I’ve never been part of anything like this before,” church member Mark Mywords said. “Once we got to quarter after twelve I thought something was wrong. “ “My tummy started to hurt ten minutes into the song,” Marion Mooney said. “It was a new song I hadn’t sung before so I didn’t know what to do. It was all so disturbing. Church shouldn’t be disturbing.” No one from the church would comment on the record but they did confirm there was a problem with the last song and the service was delayed. Sources from the church claim the band leader and the audio/video tech person were being disciplined by being asked to serve in kid’s church indefinitely. Since the incident, The Portage Church has seen a drop in attendance with many people staying home to manage the time-related anxiety sparked by the lengthy service. Those who are attending have been seen bringing in snacks and bottled water in case the service should go long again. Worship Pastor, Max E. Mum offered reassurances to congregants. “Although modern worship music is often repetitive and hypnotic, we will make sure we can find the ending to all songs we perform and that musicians, singers and tech people are all aware of the ending.” Notice to readers: Please be advised that while Portage la Prairie is a real place, the content of this and other stories on this website are based on fiction and the imagination of childish humans. Some events, people and places may resemble reality but the fact remains the information is unreliable, lacking in credibility and truth. Some of this may seem real to some readers but more reasonable people will pick up on the humour and satire. Consumption of this and other stories may cause dizziness, dry mouth, facial blemishes, hives, and thin hair. Should you experience an erection lasting more than four hours please seek medical treatment. This corporation assumes no responsibility for your grasp on reality, ability to tolerate sarcasm, humour and mocking comments. In addition they assume no responsibility for any resulting effects from digesting the content in this and other posts relating to but not limited to the aforementioned website and ancillary media products and modes of transportation. Please read and discuss at your own risk and with great caution. Should you feel nauseous at any point while reading this content please glance away from the screen or leave the website, social media or print page and the feeling should pass. This offer is not valid with any other offer and carries no cash or other value not to mention merit. Drive safe and drink responsibly, always consume in moderation. We like cats and dogs. Never open your doors to strangers with weapons or offer rides to same. Please no parking without a permit. And yes, objects are larger than they appear in mirrors – unless the mirrors cause magnification in which case the object would be smaller in reality. Please consult a physician before working out. Call your mom. Stop picking at it. If it bleeds it leads. Leave a Reply Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email.