IMG_3544A new, elitist, developmental baseball league is setting up in Portage la Prairie.  The Republic of Portage la Prairie, Manitobah Beaver Baseball Winter Wonder League, or R.P.L.P.M.B.B.B.W.W.L. for short, will begin this winter at Beaver Stadium.

Tom Spence, president and CEO of the renegade league sees great opportunity, “We are trying to do what summer hockey leagues have been doing for years.  Parents looking to give that extra edge to their kid so they can have a better shot at making the big league is what we’re about.”

Dreams of the getting to “the show” will be played out this winter at Portage’s majestic Beaver Stadium as major league hopefuls as young as six will work on their skills.  Spence hopes to draw the attention of college and major league scouts to the outdoor winter work outs and games.

“We’ll be featuring a super-series format and all-star game featuring not only the best players but the kids whose parents spent the most money, explained the ever opportunistic Spence.  “This won’t be for those fair-play nannies.  We’re focussing on the politics and money along with skill development.  That’s what will get the kids ahead.”

The new winter loop is not associated with any reputable association or Baseball Manitoba but hopes to attract male and female players 6 to 17 years-old from across the province.  Portage la Prairie’s central location is part of the program’s strategy to attract the best and richest players.

“We picked Beaver Stadium for the branding cache of the beaver.  It’s one of our most recognizable national icons and we want to take this across the country,” offered Spence.  “We hope to incorporate beaver coats and hats in the dugout to keep kids warm and we are trying to find a manufacturer to make beaver lined gloves.  People associate warmth with the beaver and that’s important to us.”

Rules and equipment will be modified slightly to adjust to the winter weather.  Since the diamond will be white with snow Spence will be using blue balls to create a contrast making it easier and safer to play.  Winter boots will be cleated and long-johns will be mandatory.  “Our catch phrase in our marketing will be The Republic of Portage la Prairie Manitobah Beaver Baseball Winter Wonder League, White Diamonds.  Blue Balls,” boasted Spence.

Sing up for the RPLPMBBBWWL will be Friday at the Portage la Prairie Mall directly across from the Hoop and Holler Media’s world headquarters.  “Just look for the three foot bunny in a hula skirt.  A sign up sheet will be available,” said Spence.  “If you are a parent who cares about getting their kid to the next level then you better sign up.  You won’t make it if you sit around studying all winter or playing school sports and hockey.  Come hit a home-run at Beaver Stadium.”

 

This story is based on fictional accounts of make believe events and is satirical in nature.  Any similarities to actual events are purely coincidental and not the result of good writing and strong characters.

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2 Responses

  1. Steve Ash

    I would be ecstatic to give my support to the RPLPMBBBWWL. 😀 I have fond memories of winter ball. I think, :S lol

    Reply
  2. Robert Watson

    This is NOT funny. Stop this kind of nonsense. There are some serious issues facing Portage you should deal with not this kind of crap.

    Reply

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